The end of the work day brings a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and a tightening of the scrotum, as I dread the possibility of some emergency that will require my attention late Friday and early Saturday. This would never keep me from going out, or drinking less, but is still dreaded.
A culinary faux pas can also dredge up unpleasant feelings, such as Tony’s blistering review of a roast made by Beth a couple of weeks ago that included a decent amount of onions. Tony is fearful of unpleasant breath and gas (pleasant gas?), and he let his doting wife know it. Wife Beth is as tough a gal as you would like to meet, but Tony did manage to squeeze out a few tears from his better half. She really should know better.
Tony and I also monitor the weather reports on Friday (actually, much earlier in the week if truth be known) . It may surprise you to know, that a lot of bad shit happens on Friday. Heavy snow, black ice and violent summer storms seem to be the norm. Maybe not, but if you listen to our wild eyed ranting, you would think so.
It has been this horse-shit weather that has delayed our visit to Northern Lights Lounge on W. Baltimore in Detroit, west of Woodward and north of 1-94. For three weeks, this place has been on our hit list, only to be scuttled by deep snows. Detroit is not known as a city that plows or salts, and I blame that shortcoming for recent visits to The Hootch Bar and White Rhino (Yecch !).
This past Friday was decent enough, and I started the proceedings by dropping off a birthday present for Tony, eight days after his birthday and five days after his birthday party. I’m thoughtful like that. I purchased the Heavy Metal box set from Rhino records, four slabs of metal that I felt would appeal to Tony more than underwear or socks. Did I mention that the box set comes in the shape of a Marshall amp and has a volume knob that goes to 11? If that needs explaining, please quit reading.
The journey to Northern Lights was a breeze, expressway almost the entire way. The bar is easy to find as it is the only sign of life and light in the area around the Fisher Building. You can park amongst the swirling trash on the street in front of the bar, or in the tight lots on either side of the building. The area is a bit unsettling in its deadness, or is that just the suburban pussy in me coming to the surface?
There was no cover to get in, though I gather that changes depending on the evenings entertainment. Tonight featured a group of DJs, so no dough to enter. Once inside, more darkness interrupted occasionally by red lanterns. A confused patron tried to examine her money under the glow of my red nose. I held still long enough for her to get her shit together.
Northern Lights is a decent sized space, featuring a long bar against one wall and an old fashioned shuffleboard table dominating the front. The DJ and band live in the back, as does the small dance floor and unused foosball table. There is ample seating at the bar, at four person tables in front of the bar and in booths closer to the stage.
There is also the obligatory sofa, chair and cocktail table arrangement. Northern Lights offers a chessboard to go with their suite. I am sure that some of life’s headier issues have been solved in this bar while drinking a pint and playing speed chess.
A drink proved to be tough to get, as there is but one bar and it was staffed by two indifferent sorts. A tough looking waitress soon realized that we were there to drink, and tip, making the booze flow a bit better. A Miller Light and Labatts ran $6.75.
The crowd is what separates Northern Lights from the balance. It is a great mix of black and white, young and old, and hip and hipper. These are a few of the “types” seen this past Friday:
*A gregarious black dude who stopped by our table and insisted that he knew me from hanging at the Old Miami. I asked if he meant the Old Miami on Cass near Wayne State, and he said yeah. I then told him I have never been there. I just wanted him to know how urban I was. He clinked bottles with me and went away disappointed. Tony believes he was trying to get a fix on if we were the POPO.
*A sloppy drunk white guy wanted the black people in the bar to know, in no uncertain terms, that there was not a racist bone in his wobbly body. He loudly quoted both Martin Luther King and Rodney King (“I had a dream” and “Can’t we all just get along”) in uncomfortably close conversations with any black face that fucked up and made eye contact. Tony saw the dude from the Old Miami conversation wiping spittle off his face before racing away in the opposite direction.
*A biker type and his chick, she more threatening than he. Tony theorized that the guy had a ton of black hair dye in his crusty mop and was praying that the snow would hold off for fear of his hair leaking .
*An older guy with a pork pie hat and long pony tail, enthusiastically hugging the younger kids, which is fine. Until he took off his jacket and propped his arm up on the wall right next to our table, displaying one of the crustier looking elbows I have ever seen.
*A ton of alternative chicks, art students from nearby WSU (at least in my fantasy). Short hair with a second color, carefully selected sloppy gear and an aggressive dancing style that never seemed to tire them out. I hear that these young kids sometimes take drugs that help them keep on going. Take it from me kids, it’s a dead end street.
*Two seasoned drinkers, handsome in a Bruce Willis/Pierce Brosnan manner, looking dapper, somehow above it all. All the guys wanted to be like them, all the girls wanted to be with them...
A couple of fleeting images from Northern Lights. They fill the urinals with ice and you might be surprised at how much you can melt with the average beer whiz. Also,the DJ went largely ignored until he started playing snippets of popular songs by Prince, Eddie Grant, Madonna and the like. The dance floor quickly filled and stayed that way until we left for last call at The Old Shillelagh.
In the end, the great mix of people made the effort to reach Norther Lights worthwhile.
PS Could you tell that the Bruce Willis and Pierce Brosnan characters were Tony and I?
Cheers!
-Jim
Northern Lights Lounge: 660 W. Baltimore St. Detroit, MI 48202
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